My Version of Reality

Being a Secret Service member doesn’t mean your’e James Bond

Our Secret Service. Being in the right place at the right time, and only the best of the best are considered for the job. Well apparently, they slipped up in the recruitment office when they hired the secret service members in Columbia. They were on official business for the United States, and representing our country. Unfortunately, they decided to be complete idiots and order some call girls. Not only is that illegal seeing as they are supposed to be abiding by the United States laws, but it is immoral. Buying a prostitute when you are supposed to be on an important mission for the secret service is unacceptable. Along with the agents, there were some special operation forces. I hope to God that they weren’t involved. They portrayed America as sexual pigs. If our secret service can’t abide by our laws, then they can’t expect us to either. I expect the perpetrators to be punished worse than any other citizen. Their punishment should not only be confined to being fired, they deserve something more, as they were representing our country.

Just got my acceptance letter to NHS. W00000TTTTT!!!

Dear MW3 Nerd,

Guess what?!?!?! In real life…..Wait for it……..THERE’S NO RESPAWNING!!!!!

Just because your screensaver is an M14, it does not make you a badass.

Sincerely,

Joe

Phys. Ed. Letter

Dear Deb (Gym Teacher),

While I can understand the service aspect of today’s physical education class, I don’t see how it fits in with the curriculum. Picking up trash along the side of the road does help our communities roadways, but I don’t think it is really “physical education.” My friend Hugh and I were at the head of the pack, maybe 3/4 of a mile ahead of the other kids. We had already filled up 3 or 4 bags with trash and left them on the side of the road for the designated car to come pick up. Meanwhile, we had a new trash bag with 4 to 5 pieces of trash in it. After 2 hours of walking along a highway, we had picked up quite a significant amount of trash, but as soon as we both stepped on the bus, I knew we were in trouble. Walking up the bus steps, I could literally feel your glare, and I started getting nervous. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong and neither had Hugh, so I was wondering why you were glaring at us. All my questions were answered when I heard you snap at us, “Why didn’t you pick anything up? You were just walking along the road!” First off, if you want to confront me about something you think I did wrong, snapping at me is not the way to go about it. Already I was on the defensive and I really didn’t want to put up with being yelled at after a 6 mile walk. Hugh and I exchanged glances, and we both were feeling the same way, Excuse me? We didn’t do anything? Were you the adult supervisor? After being harassed quite extensively by you, Hugh and I sat in the back and stared at the seat in front of us. Feeling falsely accused was bad enough, but when the bus got back to school, you told everyone to, “stay seated.” Hugh and I knew you were going to lecture the whole class now, “While some of you did what you were supposed to, and we got many compliments, some of you just walked along the road.” After pointedly glaring at Hugh and I, the class was dismissed. Hugh and I both left school angry with you. Snapping at us was uncalled for and irresponsible, we are both physically inclined and always participate in your class. If you ever have a problem with my performance, addressing me in a calmer manner would be appreciated. 

Sincerely,

Joe